Managing Difficult Thoughts
Many have had the experience of feeling overwhelmed by thoughts. These thoughts can feel so powerful that we believe them to be truths. However, thoughts are not facts! Engaging in mindfulness around our inner dialogue/experience is the first step in noticing the impact of our thoughts on our behaviors and emotions. This article will highlight “cognitive distortions”, or unhelpful thinking styles. We will also review strategies for combating negative thinking, and adopting a more balanced perspective.
CBT cognitive distortions
All or Nothing Thinking
Also known as black and white thinking occurs when an individual views things in absolutes. For example, good vs bad, success vs failure, right vs. wrong. This can be common in those with perfectionism. For example, “I must get 100% on this test or I’m a failure”. This can also be seen in individuals with depression “I’ll never get better so why even bother to try a little bit”. The goal in challenging this style of thinking is to find the shades of gray, or in-between.
Overgeneralization
This occurs when an individual attributes meaning/assumption, from a single event, to all other events. Oftentimes, absolutes are used such as “always” or “never”. For example, if someone gets rejected for a date they might think “I wasn’t asked out, I’ll never find a partner”. Or if a person has a difficult day at work they might think, “Things never go my way”. The goal with challenging this style is to remain in the present and describe factually for the specific situation (ex: a failed test is a failed test, not necessarily predictive of future attempts or intelligence)
Mental filters
Disqualifying the positives occurs when an individual rejects their positive outcome. An example is, “I only got the promotion because I know the boss well” or “She only invited me because she didn’t want to be rude”. This can negatively impact one's self-esteem.
Negative filtering occurs when positive contributions or attributes are dismissed, and instead negative components are focused on. An example is, someone completing a performance review with their employer and ignoring the positive feedback and only focusing on the negative comments.
Jumping to conclusions
Mind reading occurs when you predict how someone will feel, think or react that is not accurate. For example, interpreting that a friend is annoyed at you after they don’t respond to a text message.
Fortune telling occurs when you predict something in the future, without any evidence. For example, “Why bother trying to tell him how I feel, I know he won’t listen anyway”.
The goal of this is to observe/describe the situation, with just the facts. Remember, we cannot observe someone’s thoughts or know the future with certainty.
Magnification
This occurs when a thought turns into “worst case scenario”. For example, “I haven’t found a career that I love, I’ll never find it and then I won’t be happy in life” or “I made a mistake at work, everyone will notice, they’ll all be mad at me and then I’ll get fired”. This thinking can amplify anxiety, as we create a false narrative of what might happen.
Emotional Reasoning
This occurs when we interpret a situation by our feelings. For example, “I feel anxious, therefore something bad must be about to happen”. The challenge with this distortion is that our emotions are not always justified! Sometimes, we misinterpret a situation, or emotions are uncued.
Should Statements
This involves thinking about things that you think you "should" or "must" do. These types of statements can make you feel worried or anxious, or even shameful or guilty. “Should” implies a judgment….that there is a right way and a wrong way. For example, “I shouldn’t be so upset”. This type of thinking can also lead us to feel unnecessarily frustrated with others, for example, “they should understand how I feel”.
Labeling
This involves making a negative evaluation of oneself, instead of describing the behavior as separate from the individual. For example, labeling oneself as “stupid” for not passing an exam, or calling onself a “loser” when they did not get invited to a party. This can lead to feelings of shame and impact self-esteem.
Personalization/Blame
This involves believing that you are responsible for things outside of your control. For example, a mother who believes she is solely to blame for her child’s misbehavior. A trauma survivor believing that they could have done something differently to have prevented an incident from occurring, that they were somehow at fault.
Mindfulness for overthinking
The first step, with most things, is to increase your awareness. For example, how many times throughout a day do we actually pause and think about our thinking? This exercise alone can be illuminating in noticing what thoughts arise….how do you speak to yourself? Is it compassionate or critical? Beginning to notice thoughts, and specifically, thoughts that resemble distortions is helpful before proceeding with reframing these thoughts.
CBT (cognitive reframing) for overthinking
Cognitive reframing is a technique associated with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). It is a process that helps the individual discover, challenge, and modify/replace negative or irrational thoughts. The first step in this exercise is to identify the situation that leads to the distressing thought. Next, identify the belief or thought that arose from the situation, and then identify associated feelings.
Then, the individual is guided in exploring that same situation, but replaced with more balanced thoughts, based in facts, and identifies the change in emotional response. Let’s review an example below. A quick way to remember this technique is with the acronym “ABC”. This can be a challenge as you begin this process! Repetitive practice, observation, and assistance from a trained professional can help to increase your success in this area!
Example #1
Situation (Antecedent)
Husband does not respond to text messages
Belief
He must be mad at me, I did something wrong
Consequence (Response)
Feeling insecure, anxious, desiring reassurance
Reframing—-
Situation (Antecedent)
Husband does not respond to text messages
Belief
“He will respond when he is able”
“It’s possible he is busy”
“The facts of the situation are that he has not answered…this does not mean it is because of me”
Consequence (Response)
Feeling more neutral, less reactive